In Defense of Todd Akin

“It seems to me, from what I understand from doctors, that’s really rare.  If it’s a legitimate rape, the female body has ways to try to shut that whole thing down. But let’s assume that maybe that didn’t work or something: I think there should be some punishment, but the punishment ought to be of the rapist, and not attacking the child.”
-Todd Akin from an interview on the Jaco Report on Fox St. Louis

Todd Akin say, in my mind, nothin wrong.  In front of my woman, howevr, I say dat itis.  And ‘dis is wat dis story is all for.  I no for FACT dat every man agreas wit Todd Akin on what he say.  What he say is completely for true.

Im sick of havin 2 be dis completely different person in front of my girl!

1st, she make me stop playin video games.  I used to play on dat Xbox wit my Xbox friends.  Wit Call uv Duty, she complain dat it was sick that I pretendin to kills people.  Wit Halo, she say same thing evin dough killin aliens are different.  Wit Forza Motorsport, she say dat it make no sense why I want to pretend to drive on dare when I can drive my ride.  Well, I cant drive at speeds over 80 on da street.  Make dat 70 mostly cuz I drive all do place wit her.  She say 80 is 2 fast & complainin if she sees that I drivin over 70.

2nd, she dont want me no watch no porn.  She say its same thin as cheatin on her.  I say dat it pretty much da same thin as if I imaginin nother woman which she has no control over cept much easier to imagine.  Plus, she never wants to do behind; she say it hert.  So how I suppose to imagine dat as easily as watchin it doin by 2 other people who love 2?

3st, she say dat she dont like me smokin my marry jane.  She say dat itis a disgustin habitat.  Plus, da cops dont like it.

I often ask myself wether havin a woman is worth it.  What dis deal wit dis hole mogonamy concept?  It completely unnatural.  If I have  urge to put it in, PUT IT IN, oda girls, I shouod beez ables to lisen to my body & do it.  & she shont care, cuz itis what men do.  Ive never had sex with an indian girl, asian girl, canadian girl, brazilian girl, & so on.

Ive abandon everythin dat I am for deese women.  Back in college in eigth grade, I used to bam, bam, bam women wit jokes about my large dog size & how my juice was additive like cocaine.  “Just dont put it in yo nose, I would say.  It too intense; only for da brave.”

Back 2 Todd, let analyse dis statement peace by peace.

  1. “It seems to me, from what I understand from doctors, that’s really rare.”

2.  “If it’s a legitimate rape, the female body has ways to try to shut that whole thing down.”

  • Since there is some crazy women who delight 2 make up stories, dear obviously are iligitimate rapes.  My buddy once accused of raping this girl back in college.  I know he dont do it.  2 prove it, she died in a car accident be4 da trial & da charges were gone since it was her word against his.
  • Next, the female body has all sort of traps for my boys in the canal.  That’s why my boys is protected in the coat of juice.  Just like in real life, women try to shut us down, but eventually we men win…dat juice get in dat egg.
  • I often used never wear condoms when putin itin wit differant women back in college.  Sometimes they were 2 drunk 2 reamember to take dat pill.  And you know what happened, nothin!  They didnt get fat. Here ain’t no baby born.

3.  “But let’s assume that maybe that didn’t work or something: I think there should be some punishment, but the punishment ought to be of the rapist, and not attacking the child.”

  • Obviously, dis guy wants to punish rapists.  And due to his moral believes, he dont want no abortion to exist under any circumstances.
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